Thinking back to my first bout with depression, I was suicidal among other things. I didn't understand the things I do know so I had no idea why and where all the pain and hurt was coming from. It wasn't just emotional, it was the worst physical feelings I'd had up until then. I can remember one day standing in the shower crying my eyes out uncontrollably. I tried desperately to explain to people what I was feeling but many didn't understand. Then one day, I decided I'd take a bottle of night time pain medication. I sat on the floor of my bedroom and struggled with the bottle for over 20 minutes until finally I feel asleep. This was about 10 am or so. but when I awoke is was well into the night, maybe even midnight, I don't remember.
I had lost my job and a man whom I thought I couldn't live without told me he was marrying another woman. I can remember going on a job interview the day after that conversation with him, just sitting there but not knowing a thing what was said.

Fast forward to 2009...

Pain is temporary but victory is forever!